Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The struggles of a small town man whore
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
