he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
