So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's get the cat blown out
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
