Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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