I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Randomize
