yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
