HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
