he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
