dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Randomize
