Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
