6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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