i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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