Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
