I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
