I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
