I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize