my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
50% drunk capacity currently
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
