Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
