Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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