How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
