I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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