I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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