Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
