home. puking in laundry basket.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
