the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
