is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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