I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
