I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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