Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
