Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
