that's an acceptable place to lick
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
