you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
