you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize