I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The cops high fived after they tackled you
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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