i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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