She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
