I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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