I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
