apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
