I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
