I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
