this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
