Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
