That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize