i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
