Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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