but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just had sex on a roof
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
