Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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