Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Terrible idea I love it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
