I need help removing her.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize