i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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