every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize