There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
