My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
