Can Purell be used as lube?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
