Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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