If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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