Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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