i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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