i just wanna soil my oats bro
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Let's paint friendship bongs
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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