Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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