i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
