she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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