I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
