I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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