You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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