One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
